MADISON — Brian Dutcher, who was arrested by the Secret Service for making written and verbal threats to kill President Barack Obama during his visit to La Crosse last week, planned to carry out the assassination with slingshot, a federal agent testified Thursday at a court hearing. Dutcher, 55, of

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Renegade geneticist Frank Anderson told the San Francisco Weekly that attractive women are the most desirable animal on the planet and that we need more of them. “Most human beings are extremely ugly,” Anderson said. “I’m so sick of looking at them. Hot women make the world so

Everybody has different opinions on abortion and we can respect that, but this superficial hooker put a nose job above her unborn child’s life. Josie Cunningham, 25, is a British wannabe pornstar who had an abortion at 12 weeks after doctors refused to perform a nose job while she was

SANTA MONICA — Saffron Jones is taking a street psychic to court for making “horrible predictions” that she says changed her life forever. Jones found the street psychic, Monica Star, on Santa Monica Pier seven months ago and paid her $3 for what she thought would be a fun and positive

TAMPA, Florida – Ashton Black said he was just a normal guy working at Ace Cash Express when The Devil approached the counter where he stood late one night. “Satan was about 10 foot tall, had huge 12 inch horns, was red,” Black said. “He told me he wanted to

We mostly deal with dumb criminals and social media idiots on our website. But we found this story so damn bizarre we had to share it. Enjoy. 🙂 BELFAIR, Washington — Nancy Hoggert told Big Foot Tracker that she and the infamous bigfoot have been in a sexual relationship since

We were alerted to an interesting Facebook conversation by one of our readers. We reached out to Shelly about her plan to use her father as a sperm donor and she surprisingly agreed to chat. First, here is the Facebook conversation thread we saw… apparently this is just the latest

Anthony Burridge and Sarah Williams bought their 2-year-old daugther, Emily, a “My Little Baby Born Nappy Time” doll from Toys ‘R’ Us as a birthday present. The doll was suppossed to drink and then pee her pants, move her legs a bit and then cry. But this doll had different

James McElvar, 19, of Rewind fell ill after attempting to avoid a $70 luggage charge by wearing all of this clothes on an EasyJet flight. The singer of the boyband collapsed on the plane due to heat exhaustion. McLever, who wore 12 layers of clothing, told The Sun, “I thought

By Kelly Broich Originally published as satire on Moron.com in 2015 Republished here to reflect original authorship and public record JACKSONVILLE, Florida – Jeff Waters walked into a Bank of America Monday morning and attempted to cash a check for $368,000,000,000 dollars. The check Waters had written to ‘Cash’ was