Lots of Darwin awards being handed out this past week. We have our second reported death by fireworks incident. Police say a Texas mailman died this week after lighting a firework on his chest while partying with friends. Justin Bartek, 30, from Columbus, Texas and some friends were shooting off

By Kelly Broich Originally published as satire on Moron.com in 2015 Republished here to reflect original authorship and public record JACKSONVILLE, Florida – Jeff Waters walked into a Bank of America Monday morning and attempted to cash a check for $368,000,000,000 dollars. The check Waters had written to ‘Cash’ was

CHICAGO, Illinois — Jovantay Jackson loves Pit Bull energy drink. He chugs three of four every morning and pounds a couple for lunch. One day, he dropped a can on his kitchen floor, and watched his pit bull, Randy, lap up the energy drink. After that incident, his dog became addicted. “I already trained my pit bull to

CHICAGO — Dang Thomas was only complaining about his hatred for pie on Facebook, but his three innocent little words cost him his job. Above: Thomas explains his firing to CAN TV Thomas, who works as a forklift operator at Horner Lumber Distributers in Chicago, arrived at work Friday morning and was surprised when he learned he had been fired by his boss,

This is a transcribed letter that was found bobbing in a wine bottle in Lake Butler (Florida) by a snorkeler. DEAR MERMAID: I have loved you since the day I caught you fishing. I’m still sorry for making your lip bleed with the hook and hope it healed well — no scars!! But I

By Kelly Broich Originally published as satire on Moron.com in 2015 Republished here to reflect original authorship and public record JACKSONVILLE, Florida – Geoff Gaylord, 37, entered the Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office earlier today and turned himself in for killing his imaginary friend — Mr. Happy. Gaylord told officers he had

Alexa from Jacksonville, Florida emailed this to us: I thought you guys would find this funny. My 82-year-old mom and I live in a one-bedroom apartment and share a bunk bed. She’s on the bottom bunk. I’m on the top — so I hear a lot of the crazy ass stuff she says in her sleep.

JACKSONVILLE, Florida – Tito and Amanda Watts were arrested over the weekend for selling “golden tickets to heaven” to hundreds of people. The couple, who sold the tickets on the street for $99.99 per ticket, told buyers the tickets were made from solid gold and each ticket reserved the buyer a spot in heaven —

JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — A 19-year-old mother was arrested for cutting the hands off her 2-year-old daughter Thursday night. According to the Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office, Alena Smith used a steak knife to cut off her daughter’s hands after the young girl continued to ‘pick her nose and eat her boogers” and then ‘made funny faces’ at her.” Investigators say a