GRAND RHONDE, Oregon — Okay, we’re a bit late with this story that happened earlier this summer, but we don’t care. This guy deserves a spot on our website. Oregon Live reports that 56-year-old Glen B. Garbutt was spotted by the horse’s owner “masturbating himself and the horse at the

By Kelly Broich Originally published as satire on Moron.com in 2015 Republished here to reflect original authorship and public record JACKSONVILLE, Florida – Geoff Gaylord, 37, entered the Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office earlier today and turned himself in for killing his imaginary friend — Mr. Happy. Gaylord told officers he had

CLEVELAND, Ohio – Adam Moulson kidnapped an unidentified African-American woman this morning, but was quickly apprehended by police after he crashed his red Volkswagen Beetle into, ironically, another red Volkswagen Beetle while trying to get away. “He enticed the woman with a large candy cane,” an officer with Cleveland Police said. “Once the victim was near his window he threw

ST. PETERSBURG, Florida – Derek Mishov married himself last night in a Florida bowling alley with his daughter, parents and a small group of supportive friends attending the ceremony performed by his uncle. While the marriage won’t be recognized by the State of Florida, Mishov plans to challenge current marriage laws until it is.

DANBURY, Connecticut — NBC New York reported that a 77-year-old man was pushing a shopping cart holding cans and bottles down a street when he was grabbed from behind in a ‘bear hug’ and thrown into a white van. The kidnapper, David Pope, took the man to his house, tied

AUGUSTA, Georgia — A Georgia woman, Tabithia Lee Grooms, 35, attacked her live-in boyfriend and her 66-year-old mother after her boyfriend refused to have sex with her earlier in the day, a Richmond County Sheriff’s report said. Upset over getting no action, Grooms went out drinking and when she came

MIMS, Fla. — Police said a man wanted to check if there was a bullet still in the chamber of his gun, so he put it to his head and pulled the trigger. Authorities say 49-year-old Charles Cooper shot himself at 1:50 a.m. Sunday during a weekend fishing trip and

TULSA — A man named Tupac Skakur has emerged from hiding with a budding new rap career and a totally different look. “I never died. I just changed myself to hide,” Shakur told Celebtricity. “So many peeps wanted me dead, including the FBI, I had no choice but to do

MOUNTAIN VIEW, California – Dale Burgdorf doesn’t enjoy having to leave his desk to use the bathroom. So Burgdorf wears an adult diaper and just does his business right where he sits. He also doesn’t enjoy the restrictive feel of pants — so he doesn’t wear them. Above: Dale Burgdorf