Moron.com:  You realize this is moron.com and readers will probably think you’re a moron, right? Unique: Yeah. Moron.com: Your name is really Unique? Unique: Yeah. Moron.com: That’s unique. Unique: Never heard that one before. Hardy har har. Moron.com: Why did you have sex with a Cabbage Patch Kid? Unique: I

MOULTRIE, Georgia — Jared Fournier walked into American Pawn yesterday and tried to pawn an old Sega Genesis for $700 telling the clerk it was “special” and “worth more than just a regular one.” When workers checked the console, they found a bag of crystal meth inside the game cartridge

SPRINGFIELD, MO – Lacy Peterson was arrested on suspicion of driving while intoxicated, child endangerment and property damage earlier this week. Green County deputies found Peterson slumped over her steering wheel at South Campbell Avenue at Plainview Road with her seven-month-old sitting unbuckled in the car seat. A witness told

James McElvar, 19, of Rewind fell ill after attempting to avoid a $70 luggage charge by wearing all of this clothes on an EasyJet flight. The singer of the boyband collapsed on the plane due to heat exhaustion. McLever, who wore 12 layers of clothing, told The Sun, “I thought

SPOKANE, WA — The Spokesman-Reviews reported Thomas Kammers, 42, is being held in the Spokane County Jail on a $5,000 bond after he was pulled over Monday afternoon near North Stevens Street and West Houston Avenue. Kammers 1992 Honda was observed traveling on a completely flat tire with expired license

By Kelly Broich Originally published as satire on Moron.com in 2015 Republished here to reflect original authorship and public record JACKSONVILLE, Florida – Geoff Gaylord, 37, entered the Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office earlier today and turned himself in for killing his imaginary friend — Mr. Happy. Gaylord told officers he had

PHOENIX, Arizona – Kendall Gastin claims she often loses control over her voice to the baby inside her. The fetus first took over her voice box when she was 2 weeks pregnant. “First time the baby spoke through me in its tiny baby voice,” Gastin said. “It said, ‘Mommy, you must have people get me everything I ask for,’ which

AUSTIN, Texas – A 20-year veteran of the U.S. Postal Office, Casey Brown, 44, was arrested Monday morning when federal agents raided his Austin apartment recovering 75,000 stolen Netflix DVDs. Brown had been pilfering DVDs since Netflix started its once popular home DVD delivery service. Police wouldn’t detail how they caught Brown other than it involved an elaborate surveillance effort including

FLINT, Michigan –   46-year old Randolf Turner, manager of a Wendy’s restaurant in Michigan, is accused of stealing more than 32 tons of bacon from his employer over the last four years. The man intercepted 20 to 250 kilograms of meat per week from shipments destined to his restaurant. The