As we all know, Craigslist is a goldmine for insane stuff. This guy put up one of the weirdest ads of all-time.

I can’t imagine he got any real responses, but you never know these days.

CL ad transcript:

I want a big beautiful Mexican lady here in Detroit to fart in my mouth. I’m going to lie on my waterbed and you squat over my face so I can open my mouth and wrap my lips around your a**hole. I need you to fart loud and long filling up my mouth, while I masturbate.

We decided to respond to this moron’s ad:

Hola, I’m a Mexican woman (600lbs) and would love to fart in your mouth. How we get this going?

His response:

Do your farts smell?

Our response:

No.

His response:

Right answer. But they need to be loud and long.

Our response:

Loud and long I can do. I’ve eaten a lot of Taco Bell today.

His response:

Eating Taco Bell before is not acceptable.

Our response:

I’m ready to fart in your mouth now. S**t or get off the pot.

His response:

Just call me RIGHT NOW (you better have a strong Spanish accent) and let’s talk about where I want you to eat before I inhale your farts. I prefer you eat organic food and it be vegan. XXX-XXX-XXXX

Our response

Why does it matter where I’ve eaten?

His response:

Call me now, goddamnit!!

Our response:

STOP YELLING AT ME!!!!

His response:

You want the job or not?

Our response:

Job? Does this pay?

His response:

I pay in food. Call me, please. I prefer to talk over the phone as my mother often checks this email.

We couldn’t muster the courage to call him. WTF?