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WTF
Man Eating Hamburger Attacked By Meat-Suit Wearing Vegetarian
BOISE, Idaho – Brad Burns was playing in Veterans Memorial Park with his two Chihuahuas when he witnessed a man dressed in a ‘meat suit’ attack another man eating a hamburger. “I saw the meat man run at the guy full force and knock him off the picnic table,” Burns said. “My first instinct was to run because I
Michigan woman claims she lost virginity to a Cabbage Patch Kid
Moron.com: You realize this is moron.com and readers will probably think you’re a moron, right? Unique: Yeah. Moron.com: Your name is really Unique? Unique: Yeah. Moron.com: That’s unique. Unique: Never heard that one before. Hardy har har. Moron.com: Why did you have sex with a Cabbage Patch Kid? Unique: I
4 Reasons Women Should Only Be Allowed To Wear Dresses
Robert Panel feels women should be LEGALLY required to wear dresses. Obviously, there isn’t a lawmaker in the United States who would get behind legislation forcing women to wear dresses, but this is what he wants to see happen anyway. We talked to Mr. Panel via Skype to discover the reasons why he holds this belief: 1. Women Look Sexy In
Florida Man Turns Himself In For Murdering Imaginary Friend
JACKSONVILLE, Florida – Geoff Gaylord, 37, entered the Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office earlier today and turned himself in for killing his imaginary friend — Mr. Happy. Gaylord told officers he had stabbed Mr. Happy repeatedly with a kitchen knife, cut up the body with a hatchet and buried the victim in
Pregnant Man Successfully Gets Welfare
AUSTIN, Texas – Top Right News reported a Texas man, unable to work because of his pregnancy, successfully applied for and received public assistance. He is allegedly earning $3,500 per month plus food subsidies and free medical services. Adam Smith, 42, seems to have been the lucky recipient of poor bureaucratic oversight, a clerical error or extremely lax standards. Texas officials have yet to
Company Wants To Stop Pedophiles… With ‘Child Love Dolls’
COLORADO SPRINGS – Buck Dobson knows what it is like to suffer at the hands of pedophile. He was repeatedly molested at age 10 by his 19-year-old-sister and says the scars have never healed. However, the abuse inspired Dobson to spend most of his adult life working to cure pedophilia. For years, Dobson tried to rehabilitate
Woman Makes $10,000 A Month Asking “Boyfriends” For Abortion Money
Baton Rouge, Louisiana – A 27-year-old woman was pulled over early morning due to a speeding violation. When Natasha Brown acted in a very suspicious manner officers decided to search her vehicle where they discovered $60,000 in cash. When officers asked her why she had such a large amount of
Man Claims His Cat and Dog Are In Sexual Relationship
ORLANDO – Jerry Hartman said his puppy, Jack, and his adult cat, Sparkles, have been engaged in a steamy sexual relationship for the last two months. The affair apparently started when Hartman came home one day to find his dog and cat doing it “human style” — i.e., missionary position. “Jack was penetrating Sparkles on the
Scientist Plans To Create More Hot Women
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Renegade geneticist Frank Anderson told the San Francisco Weekly that attractive women are the most desirable animal on the planet and that we need more of them. “Most human beings are extremely ugly,” Anderson said. “I’m so sick of looking at them. Hot women make the world so
Catholic Priest Warns Against Yoga: ‘You’re Opening Yourself To Possession’
SEATTLE – A Catholic Priest from Seattle, Washington recently said yoga is a big, fat NO-NO. The Seattle Daily Inquirer reported Saturday that Msgr. Jay Stevens, a Catholic-ordained exorcist, spoke against yoga during Seattle’s annual YOGA DAY! As people did yoga in the park and along the streets he berated them to halt