Alexa from Jacksonville, Florida emailed this to us: I thought you guys would find this funny. My 82-year-old mom and I live in a one-bedroom apartment and share a bunk bed. She’s on the bottom bunk. I’m on the top — so I hear a lot of the crazy ass stuff she says in her sleep.

MADISON, West Virginia – Boone County resident, Jasper June, 72, was arrested today on felony charges of manufacturing and distributing homemade “energy drinks” containing the powerful stimulate methamphetamine. The Boone County drug task force raided June’s tree fort (June lives in 200 sq. ft. tree fort on his brother’s property)

AUSTIN, Texas – Top Right News reported a Texas man, unable to work because of his pregnancy, successfully applied for and received public assistance. He is allegedly earning $3,500 per month plus food subsidies and free medical services. Adam Smith, 42, seems to have been the lucky recipient of poor bureaucratic oversight, a clerical error or extremely lax standards. Texas officials have yet to

PHOENIX, Arizona – Kendall Gastin claims she often loses control over her voice to the baby inside her. The fetus first took over her voice box when she was 2 weeks pregnant. “First time the baby spoke through me in its tiny baby voice,” Gastin said. “It said, ‘Mommy, you must have people get me everything I ask for,’ which

SAN JOSE – The Tate Institute was formed by Jim Tate, a gay San Jose, California relationship counselor who wanted to help heterosexuals become homosexuals. The idea was sparked when Jim Tate saw reparative therapy clinics attempting to turn homosexuals straight. “I saw reparative therapy and thought if they are having so much success… why can’t I do the

ST. PETERSBURG, Florida – Derek Mishov married himself last night in a Florida bowling alley with his daughter, parents and a small group of supportive friends attending the ceremony performed by his uncle. While the marriage won’t be recognized by the State of Florida, Mishov plans to challenge current marriage laws until it is.

TOPEKA, Kansas – The Westboro Baptist Church just won’t stop making trouble, or being stupid. The controversial church purchased a small plot of land on the edge of Chesney Park in Topeka, Kansas and will erect a statue of their deceased founder, Fred Phelps. City leaders are helpless as there are no

Vicksburg – Rupert the Alligator, who weighed a whopping 1700 lbs, was the oldest known animal on planet earth at nearly 500 years old. Last week, he accidently escaped from a sanctuary who houses old or ailing animals and, unfortunately, Rupert decided to take refuge under a children’s trampoline in the backyard of

BUFFALO – Early Monday morning Buffalo police detained and released 72 homeless citizens for building an “apartment building” in a wooded area on the outskirts of the city. The structure in its current state of development would have housed 25 people. Full build-out, the “foreman” said, was expected to have housed 280. “The structure was a